Happy marriages based on the word of God are a treat to the enemy. They are a treat to the enemy because happy marriages build happy families, happy parents raise happy and productivity children.
Every year millions of marriages end in divorce and every week thousands of people get married. The sad fact is that more than half of these marriages will not see their fifth anniversary. Divorce has become so much a part of our society that it is almost expected that couples will divorce. Not many people are willing to fight for their marriages; they say until death do them part but what they actually means is ‘until my happiness ends’. The real meaning of marriage is lost, or at least not many people know about it.
What is the cause of marital infidelity or divorce? What are the lies that couples tell themselves or publish that causes or leads to infidelity and even divorce in marriages?
6 lies that cause divorce are:
[pullquote]Every year millions of marriages end in divorce and every week thousands of people get married. The sad fact is that more than half of these marriages will not see their fifth anniversary. Divorce has become so much a part of our society that it is almost expected that couples will divorce. Not many people are willing to fight for their marriages; they say until death do them part but what they actually means is ‘until my happiness ends’. The real meaning of marriage is lost, or at least not many people know about it.[/pullquote]
- My sexual needs are not being met so I should find a way to get them met. Not having your sexual needs be met should not be a reason for divorce or infidelity in the marriage. Both of you should sit down and have an honest and sensitive conversation about this and try to work why both of you are not having fulfilling sexual intercourse. If both of you wants the marriage to work then both of you will be willing to do in the necessary work to make sure the success of the marriage.
- A little flirting will hurt no one. They are many people who is think that their is nothing wrong with people in relationship flirting; a little flirting will not hurt anyone. That is a lie; there is something very wrong with flirting. You are hurting not only your spouse, but also the other person with whom you are flirting with as you are giving the other person the impression that you are available. We all like to know that someone admires us, and there is nothing wrong with that; neither is there anything wrong with liking and admiring another person physical attributes, where the problem comes in is when your heart, mind and body starts wandering. The only person that should hold any space in your heart and mind should be your spouse. The thoughts and opportunity will come, but when it does you need to push those thoughts and feelings out of your mind. Flirting trains the heart to wander. If you entertain these thoughts and feelings very soon things could get really physically and the result might be you losing everything; your family and the person you had an affair with.
- I don’t have to stay attractive for my spouse and we no longer have to spend quality time together. Many couples before they got married they would spend time going out, talking and just being with each other; but when they got married they stop spending quality time with each other and fulfilling each other emotional needs. There was a time when they would make an extra effort to look good for each other; hair well kept, cloths clean and looking good, exercise regular so as to stay in shape etc., and then all that stopped within one year of marriage. Because of this, many marriages end in divorce as they have become very distance from each other, and sometimes they are no longer attracted to each other. Moreover, there expectations are not met. Marriages are not like opening on account in the bank where you put money in the bank and then left it there and expect it to grow; you have to keep working on your marriage by doing the things that will keep it alive. Marriages are like having a pet; if you don’t feed and take care of the pet on a daily basis then the pet will die.
- What your partner doesn’t know will not hurt him/her. This is a very dangerous lie and is one that could destroy your marriage. This lie is normally told by someone doing something he or she knows they should not be doing as it is wrong but takes comfort in doing it by saying, ‘if my partner doesn’t know about this then no one will get hurt’. Well it does hurt and can cause your family to break a part. Secrets can cause mistrust in a relationship and once that trust is lost it is sometimes very hard to restore.
- My partner is responsible for my happiness. The truth is, no one is responsible for your happiness but you. Many people are with loving wives and husbands who go out of their ways to make their partners happy, but their partners are still not happy and most times there is infidelity in the marriage ends in divorce. Happiness must come from within; you must choose to be happy in spite of…… Many times we start looking at the faults of our partners and very soon the list of negative qualities in the spouse gets longer and longer. When this happens spouse blaming becomes a part of the marriage and bitterness comes in. Very soon the marriage ends in divorce. Marriage is about giving of yourself mind and body to the other person. When this happens both of you will feel unfilled, and yes the marriage will be a rewarding and happy one.
- Problems in the marriage is cause by my spouse, it is not my fault. There is no ‘I’ in marriage and both persons involved in the relationship should look at their own self to see what role they have played in the problems faced in the marriage. One person might have a greater fault in the breakdown of the relationship but you must look at what role you also have played. Blaming the other person for all the faults in the relationship is a convenient way to avoid taking any form of responsibility, and this can push the relationship further apart. I am not saying that there will not be occasions where one person is totally to be blamed, but this is not always the case.
They are many more lies that leads to infidelity and divorce in common-law relationships and
Marriages, can you think of anymore?