Are you single in the city? Let us stretch the question further. Are you alone in the city? The great repetitive model of our professional lives mandates that we wake up early, bath, dress up, eat, work, exercise, sleep and repeat. Being alone is fine as long as you do not feel the burden of walking alone on the long and relentlessly painful paths of life. Being a socially acceptable person is as much important as being a civilized human is. Society was formed by humans to keep humans away from leading sequestered lives on their own. Cooperation, celebrations and sorrow sharing is enabled by being with others, seeking out like-minded people, exploring new dimensions of life and stepping out of our households to experience the beauty of this material world.
Being a socially accepted person is not a big deal to many. Yet, there are those brilliant academics, shy technology geeks and coding geniuses to name a few here, that find it difficult to make eye contact during conversations with people, handle the fear of rejection and negotiate a deal with their friends for a movie or dinner. While plain advisory must find an able companion in the seeker himself, it is worthwhile to put to practice these good habits to reclaim one’s legitimate territory in social circles.
Reject Rejection as You Reject Anything Else That Doesn’t Work for You
The fear of rejection very often gets the better of us. We seek an opportunity to talk to a person every day. The person may be a neighbour next door or the colleague that occupies the adjacent cabin. Even as the person walks by, your feet are frozen with fear and the exact words that you intend to blurt, seem to disappear into thin air. What holds us back? It is the fear of rejection. Reject rejection like anything else. Remember a person may reject an idea not the person that you are. Be yourself and remember that there is always a next idea to strike a conversation.
Develop Empathy to Start Afresh on the Social Circuit
Will that person take to my words nicely? What if that colleague forms a bad impression about me? These are legitimate questions to ask and so are the answers. Seek answers to these questions. Get into somebody else’s shoes for a while and put on your thinking hat to understand the position that the other person is in. What would you have done in that situation that he is in? Develop empathy and curate the offer in your pitch. Be realistic and remember that it is as much your right to move on, as is the right of the other to refuse you.
Accept Invitations to Social Get Together Events and Parties
When you are invited to events, parties and anniversaries, understand that there is a group of people that wants you to be a part of their lives. In the fast paced world of today, nobody stops by for others without an enlightened self-interest. The fact that your presence is being solicited at a venue should make you happy. It means that you are in demand. Whatever the reason that people want to be with you; there is always a reward that follows. You can taste some awesome cuisines from far off places; learn a new trick to earn higher profits in business, know a new health tip or if you are lucky, get to know your prospective life partner.
Be Punctual When Travelling or Attending An Activity with Friends
Nobody likes to be kept waiting. Realize that if you are planning to catch a movie with a bunch of friends, colleagues or neighbors, the onus is on everyone including you to maintain the time schedule. Do not spoil the fun or force everybody in the group to pay for your late arrival, memory failure or other silly mistakes.
Look for Common Interests and Shared Goals When Bonding with a New Group
Many a time it so happens that you look forward with hope in your heart with a preconceived notion before moving towards a new social group and then, the results do not turn out as planned. These small things can let your confidence down and you may decide to stay indoors instead of seeking new opportunities to socialize. Do not confine yourself to a closet of work, sleep and eat. Break free from notions. Remember that no two persons are the same. No two groups are the same. Life does not have to stop with one disappointment.
Exude Confidence with Your Body Language All the Time
The one that deems himself eligible to bag the coveted chair, eventually does stake claim to it. Think positively about yourself and remind the self that you are a king. Exude confidence in every move. Make eye contact with people while talking, listen to them while interacting and stay firm on what you think is right for you. Socializing does not require you to be adamant, but if you feel boundaries of basic principles are being transgressed, say it politely.
Drop the Habit of Drinking Regularly
How generous should you be with the alcohol intake? How much should you drink? Make a habit of drinking in mild quantities only. Drop any bad habit of boozing regularly. All social groups do not necessarily consist of young extroverts. Going mild with your alcohol intake allows you access to groups of senior citizens, children, teenagers and even mixed groups having women that like to stay away from boozing. Even if you are drinking at a social jig, make sure that you stop before it is too late. If you are the one that has to drive the car, drink only as much as is safe. Politely share your concern of sticking to an alcohol routine with the hosts and they will perfectly understand your position. Nobody wants a social jig to be spoilt by a bar house ruckus, feuds, small talk or worse, accidents.
Drop the Habit of Smoking
If you are a smoker, then chances are that you have fewer invitations from families, get to interact less with children in the neighbourhood and certainly have difficulties talking a woman into confidence for a dinner plan. People do not like the pungent smell of cigarettes. More importantly the element of passive smoking drives off the mood of people around you at parties and events. It is not only harmful to your health but also takes its toll on the health of others around. There are alternatives available, like, switching to e-cigarettes that do not contain tobacco and emit vapour, not smoke. Vaping, if done with etiquettes does not turn off people around at a social jig and causes reasonably low adverse impact to their health and keeps the air in the venue fresh, without the pungent smell of a cigarette.
Being a sociable person is not a choice. A civilized man always prefers to stay connected to people around him, seeks opportunities in new contacts and looks to give back to society. Remember that these above-mentioned habits are just few of the must haves for you to make a start towards an active social life. It is important to take that first step towards a change for better. Take that first step now!